I am writing this blog post because I have no one loving that I can talk to. Writing to express my thoughts provides some comfort and I’m grateful that the Lord is allowing me to do so.
It looks like I’m going to be homeless. I had to give my notice to end my tenancy today because the landlord has failed to respond to numerous reports of antisocial and dangerous behaviour from others in the building.
I’m tired of taking medication for my mental health. My body is rejecting the tablets I have been prescribed. What I need is people who are genuinely caring and not just covering their backs and treating me as though I am an intrinsically broken person who needs tablets to keep him sane.
I have been drinking alcohol heavily in recent weeks and it is a real mercy, despite worries about becoming sick from its effects. Sometimes I have felt so lonely and helpless that drinking alcohol has felt like the only way to experience some peace and happiness.
I’m delighted to have finished writing my book Reflections. I am really happy with it and I hope you will read it.
The Lord has said to me that I have fulfilled all of my religious obligations and that I am free to do whatever I wish. I am trying to trust this, despite concerns that some of my behaviour could be regarded as sinful.
I’m confused about some spiritual matters and in the absence of having a community I would appreciate your prayers.
God bless you, thank you for reading and peace be with you.
Steven
Perfect Chaos 