Dear friends,
I recently attended a local church service in a Catholic church and listened to the priest describing a scenario in which three priests were meeting together and discussing their struggles with sin. One of the priests was struggling with alcohol and the other two each had their own struggles. It was in a sense comforting to hear that even people in positions of authority in the church are not exempt from the struggle with sin.
Coming out of my suicide attempt and spell in intensive care a couple of years ago, I have found engaging with others to be challenging. I have struggled with isolation and the urge to drink alcohol. I often set my alarm to 6am before I go to bed with the best of intentions for making the most of the following day, and sometimes I am able to get up and embark upon a daily routine, but other times I stall and find that I cannot make progress.
Often, during times of prayer, the Lord tells me that I need to stop struggling and striving and just do what I want to do. He says that my religious obligations have been fulfilled in their entirety. This is comforting, but it leads me to question what I should do with my time and focus my attention on, since an evangelistic life used to be my top priority.
It can be challenging to discern the truth when God speaks to you and tells you things challenge your preconceptions. Sometimes all you can do is trust and keep going.
Whatever challenges you are facing today, my prayer is that God would be merciful to you and grant you peace and clarity.
Perfect Chaos 