Friends,
How are you? I hope you all had a good week. Mine has been full of challenges and blessings, probably as yours has too.
It’s very strange living as a Christian with a diagnosis of a mental health condition. While I don’t ever consider mental health conditions to be brain disorders, as psychiatrists do, I sometimes wonder about why I experience such diverse and intense states of mind and wonder to what extent other people have similar experiences. I often get paranoid that I must be possessed by a demon or demons, although I honestly don’t feel I am. But when you’re talking with the Lord and people consider this to be ‘hearing voices’, and when you see videos of demons being cast out of people, it makes you wonder. I pray and read Scripture every day, and I wonder whether I would be doing that if I was demon-possessed. It seems unlikely, so that reassures me a little.
I’ve struggled this week with feelings of falling short and missing the mark in my walk as a Christian. Where I’ve found stability is through reading the book of Romans and Paul’s teaching on justification through faith. The idea that I am saved as an act of God’s grace and not because of my own efforts is liberating and comforting. I have also found stability listening to the music of FLAME and his album Extra Nos, which I mentioned in a previous article.
I really struggle with idea of damnation. I cannot bear the thought of me or anyone else being subjected to agonising punishment for periods of time too dreadful to utter. It’s the hardest thing about the Christian faith, and I really want to believe that God is gracious and merciful to every sentient being.
A word of encouragement. At times, feelings of oppression or depression can be overwhelming. But God has a tendency to follow these experiences with experiences of peace and clarity. What feels overwhelming today will soon be in the past. So to the greatest extent possible, enjoy the journey. Be thankful for the highs and reach out to God during the lows. What may seem like an insurmountable problem will soon appear in a different light. Trust God and hang on to hope.
I’m always so grateful for prayers. Please keep me in yours and know that I often pray for readers of my blog. I am praying that you will all know the mercy of God in the coming week.
Comments are always welcome.
God bless
Steven
Perfect Chaos 