Park benches on a rainy day

Life Update (July 2020)

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This post is partly prompted by the loneliness of lockdown (so I can share what’s on my mind and connect with people) and partly by the fact that there are a few book-related things I’d like to share with you.

The last few months have gone strangely quickly for me considering the scope of what’s been happening in relation to the lockdown and everything. I would have imagined the days would drag, but they haven’t. The time has gone very quickly. As a fairly solitary person in normal times I haven’t had to adjust very much.

I do worry about the impact lockdown is having on my health though. Not so much mental as physical. I try to exercise regularly in my flat, and I would of course be permitted to go for regular runs, but I find that my lack of connection with others leads to lack of motivation as regards health and fitness. I have put on weight due to eating too much chocolate and that makes me so annoyed. I’m praying for the motivation to work out regularly and eat healthily. Though sometimes I get so depressed I don’t care.

Around this whole Covid-19 escapade I’ve been keeping an eye on the mainstream media and an eye on the alternative media (the latter of which is far more interesting, frankly). Some of the cultural theorists that I watch are predicting lockdown will ease over the summer months to keep the peace, but that there will be another wave of coronavirus spread – leading to a lot of deaths – during the winter months. Anyone who experiences ‘flu-like’ symptoms will be diagnosed as having Covid-19, which many in the alternative media claim doesn’t even exist and is just a cover-up for a dreadfully evil political agenda.

I wrote a post this week about the different motivations someone can have for wanting to be a head of state or world leader, and how some leaders are motivated by fear rather than compassion. You can read the post here. I am deeply worried that many people currently in positions of power are very corrupt, and are acting out of a place of fear of their own personal suffering, rather than love of neighbour and compassion for others.

I think there is a lot of unspoken anger people are feeling about the possibility of having been hoaxed by world leaders. I’m not really talking about my own feelings; I’m rooted enough in an understanding of the sovereignty of God not to worry too much about politics, because I know everything that happens is part of God’s plan for creation, including the actions of all political leaders. But many people who don’t know God must be living in utter despair right now. It is the biggest blessing I could imagine having in these strange times knowing that God is in control. I hope many people reading this post experience the same kind of comfort.

I miss having a friend or soulmate to chat to in an ‘iron sharpens iron’ kind of way. I’m not really seeking a girlfriend at the moment (things feel so messed up that a relationship is pretty much unthinkable right now, to me at least) but I do crave close connection with others. I do have friends who I keep in touch with via WhatsApp or email, but everything is monitored by the Big Brother State so even just having a good catch-up with friends feels difficult these days. Some people are immersed in family life, and I hope that keeps them busy and distracted in a positive way. But I live alone, which I love for many reasons, but at times I struggle with the lack of loving human contact.

I’ve had periods of deep depression in recent weeks. But God always turns it around in unexpected ways and I find myself in a joyful place again. I’ve found one of the hardest aspects of the lockdown is the fact that it’s difficult to plan for the future. However, I felt comforted recently when God encouraged me to scale down my life ambitions and focus on a few different areas that are less stress-inducing than some of my bigger plans (which I worry are too ambitious to be realistic at times).

I watched a video recently by one of my favourite minimalist YouTubers, Christine, in which she described her approach to time organisation. She focuses on a different life priority each day Monday to Thursday, and keeps Friday free for miscellaneous activities. I thought this was a great idea and I’m going to adopt this in my own life, starting tomorrow. You can watch Christine’s video here.

I unexpectedly found myself feeling inspired to work on a new book release this week, which will be my tenth book. The whole concept came to me out of the blue. Rather than being a new original work, the book will be a compilation of my four full-length books, and will provide an opportunity to fully understand my spiritual journey and philosophy in a single volume. It will basically be a way to get four books (which sit very well together) in a single purchase for a cheaper price than if readers were to buy the books separately. I’m going to be sharing more about the release in my mailing list newsletter on Wednesday, so sign up if you’re interested to know more (you also get a free eBook if you do).

I feel really depressed about the future. I think world leaders are trying to take the world in a direction which will lead to a lot of unnecessary suffering. I am constantly questioning what I hear and read from different sources, but my gut feeling is that when politicians say they are caring for the ‘vulnerable’ they are not being sincere; they are really pursuing the interests of the elite, with no regard for the suffering of ordinary citizens. This is deeply, deeply saddening and troubling. But again, God is in control, and I believe the God who created the Universe must be infinitely wise, so I’m not as saturated in fear as many of those in the alternative media who I listen to.

I hope you are all doing well and thank you for reading this blog. My blogging family are very important to me and if I didn’t have access to this blog and the blogs of others life would be so much harder. Peace be with you all and I’m planning to post next on Thursday, so I’ll see you then.

Comments are open but please only comment if you are wishing to be friendly and encouraging. Thank you.

13 comments

  1. keep the faith, sometimes it is the best thing we can do. it is nice that you also have an immediate goal to work on with the new book compilation. best wishes with that project. sounds like it will keep you occupied which will be a blessing I bet.

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  2. I think you should give yourself a break, a break from all the news, all the negative information, also, what’s most important, break from your constant thoughts about the future. I know it sounds really hard, but living in the present is the best answer. Sadly we can’t change anything that’s going on, especially things connected with higher powers, governing this world and countries. So just try to find inspiration in internet, something or someone that will help you be motivated, work on your book, keep yourself busy, aim your thoughts in a creative direction. Hope everything will turn out great 🙏🏻

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    1. Hi Ann Mary,

      Thank you for your comment, and for attempting to encourage me!

      A long time ago when I was at university I was obsessed with the idea of ‘living in the now’. I did all the usual New Age stuff like reading Eckhart Tolle, meditating every day, doing yoga, pursuing ‘enlightenment’, etc. But when I came to understand there is a living and sovereign God, it made me see all of these previous experiences and efforts differently.

      When people talk about ‘living in the now’, I think they are for the most part confused, because they lack an understanding of a sovereign God, which is the most important part of the puzzle of life.

      Check out my book ‘The Philosophy of a Mad Man’ if you’re interested in my spiritual journey!

      Peace be with you.

      Steven

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  3. I liked reading your post. It reflects a lot about my own thoughts and struggles. The last few weeks have been hard mentally and physically too. I’m am also very grateful that I believe in a higher power and this does help bring me back to my centre. Every day feels like Groundhog Day…….I’m worried about the direction the world is heading. I’m keen to find a remote island where the term Coronavirus is band.

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    1. Hi! I certainly understand the appeal of a remote island, though with surveillance being what it is these days I don’t think there’s an inch of the Earth that isn’t closely monitored. So I’m not sure ‘remote’ even exists any more, sadly. Peace be with you and thank you for reading and empathising!

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  4. This is a really beautiful and heartfelt letter which resonates… the situation is indeed deeply troubling and I try not to think about it much… I have put on a couple kilos from too much chocolate too haha so I can relate to that as well. But yes it’s not really a bit deal and I try to drink more water now which helps a bit and/or herb tea. I do think it would be terribly hard to live alone during the lockdown so kudos to you for managing it all… you are really doing great work. :))

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    1. Bless you, Lia, such a kind and encouraging comment, I’m touched. I think you have a great attitude. I’m attempting a new health regime starting today, logging my calories and being careful what I eat, so we’ll see whether or not I have the motivation to keep it up! But your encouragement definitely helps. Thank you so much 🙂

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      1. I haven’t really been affected much by things as I see others are. But, again, I live quite rurally. And even when I go into town to get groceries, it’s pretty much the same as always, except that some people where a face mask and there are stickers on the floor that tell people where to stand.

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